So I didn't mention that it only took 3 days to get back to my start weight... ok a pound over my start weight. I was 124 this morning. I really hate myself lately. I can have control if I try.
Today's been good so far. Easy. But I can have 500 cals... that's a lot. I've turned down food multiple times. It's only 5 pm and I only have about 50 cals to spare. My munchy time is usually around 9pm so if I cant handle it I have some 35 calorie rice cakes to much on while I stand in front of a mirror.
I'm so sick of restarting so this time... I'm not giving myself a choice. I will be thin. In 50 days.... I will be at 100 because there will be no breaks no cheating. The only reason I would get off track would be to fast an extra day. I love going the extra mile.
If I keep myself busy then it's not hard. If I don't have friends over who feel the need to eat whenever people are together, I will be ok. Why is it that there has to be food when people come together??? I don't get it.
The blue monster lo carb energy drink... holy shit... I'm in love. 20 cals in a 16 oz can :)
thats all for now... wish me luck tonight
<3 Halley
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