Oh Geez!

Good Evening!
I get so paranoid of my mother finding out about my ED!
Once she caught me while I was purging and I told her I was choking, and just now, I dizzily walked to the kitchen to get some jello. I walled passed her and I guess she was talking me and I almost walked into the wall. XD My excuse this time was I just woke up from a nap.

I love this! I love how I think about giving up and while I'm at work be like "whatever I don't care if I get fat! I'm gonna get Arby's after work!" But then I drive right by and instead pick of some 10 cal jello cups from the store. 

Today I was only supposed to have 150 cals. I've had.... drum roll please. 145! What's 5 calories? Ah, screw it. Close enough. I love the meals I come up with...
Breakfast: Nature Valley Granola thin (80)
Diet Pepsi (0)
Lunch: Half a special K protein bar (55)
Large Diet coke from mcdonald's (0)
Dinner: Lemon Lime Jello cup (10)
Diet Pepsi ( 0)
and a laxative

Seriously Diet Pepsi is a life saver... thats kinda ironic since what I'm doing is "killing" me. But it feels so good.

My brain is fuzzy and my body is weak and I love it!

Does anyone know of any good fasts/diets to do after the ABC? I'm only on week 3 but I know once I'm done I'm gonna have to get right back into another fast or just restart the ABC or I'll gain it all back. I wanna keep it off all summer then I don't really care.

I hope your all doing well!
<3 Halley