Yesterday I went to the mall with my best friend. I hate the mall. Skinny girls buying skinny clothes. Attractive guys with their arms wrapped around feathers. Ugly clothes for fat girls like me, cute 00 for perfection.
I left. I got in my car and drove. Fast. Driving away from my fears, my wishes, my tears, their prying eyes. I had never felt so ugly.
I got home and weighed myself. I broke down on the bathroom floor. Then after quite some time I picked myself up, pulled on my running shoes, braved the frosted pavement and ran. I ran for over an hour. Then I didn't eat until last night when my friend came over and made me.
I wasn't going to eat today. But I did. I didn't binge, I ate "normally" but I don't even deserve that. So tomorrow I'm starting abc over. 500 cals no more.
No quitting this time.
I will be thin.
I won't hate myself.
<3Halley
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