It's my dad's birthday!
That means that I had to go to the GROCERY store to buy ingredients to bake him his favorite cake.... I need to stay away from places with food. Didnt eat until about 5 pm but i stopped and the barns and noble cafe... 1
1 double chocolate brownie
honestly one of the best brownies ever. but not worth the pounds
a banana
aaaand i licked the batter off the spatula i used to mix the cake batter with... wtf
HELP! Halley
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Yes Ma'am!
Very short one tonight.
Haven't updated to 2 days cause... well just because I suck at life.
In other news, my mom just told me to stop eating!
Thanks mom but ok! :)
Feeling the love! Halley
Sunday, January 27, 2013
The Less Planning The Better!
Good morning skinny bitches,
I say that s a complement ;D
Last night I was thinking about my next fast, trying to plan it out, and it dawned on me! I realized that every time I plan out my fast I'm putting a TON of pressure on myself. I've never done good under pressure. Always end up cracking (obviously).
So I've decided that I'm not gonna have an end date... just go until... I don't know. Maybe until I can't get my fat ass out of bed or until I can't get out of a situation that involves eating with other people? Something like that maybe. But no strict plans! But I'm gonna start tomorrow... I could start today cause I haven't eaten yet but I like to start on mondays... I don't know why. The weekend is just a weird starting time. I'm a bit ocd I know... but I think most of us with ED's are right?
I hate labeling myself. I mean I say I have an ED but then I look at myself and say... you're too fat. The only ED you have is over eating you fat pig! It's true... it gets pretty bad.
Like yesterday....I'll just do a list
Late lunch:
Olga's cup of peasant soup and bread
Dinner:
Ramen noodles w/ green beans
King size almond chocolate bar (my weakness right now)
Late night snacking:
Grapes
1/2 apple
pancake
egg on toast
I think thats everything...
Ugh I was feeling hungry and my tummy was all like rawrr blah blah feeed mee... then I typed all that shit out and me and my tummy remembered.
I have a lot to do today. Dishes, laundry, and whatever else my step dad can't do because he works... so do me and my mom but we still do this shit.
Anyway, maybe I'll eat today maybe I won't. All depends on how busy I keep myself
I love my 48 readers <3
Skinny thoughts all day :)
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Weekend munchies
Bleh Bleh Bleh
Hello!
So my friend stay over every weekend, but had to go home eary for her brothers birthday.
We always eat junk food... and a lot. But this weekend I had restraint, I didn't even realize it but I just felt sick when I ate.
:) That makes me happy
I need to come up with another fasting schedule... I'll think on up tonight and post it tomorrow!
Nighty Night
Hello!
So my friend stay over every weekend, but had to go home eary for her brothers birthday.
We always eat junk food... and a lot. But this weekend I had restraint, I didn't even realize it but I just felt sick when I ate.
:) That makes me happy
I need to come up with another fasting schedule... I'll think on up tonight and post it tomorrow!
Nighty Night
Friday, January 25, 2013
Maybe monay..
Sorry I didn't post this morning. I was running late for school.
Anyway, I'm in a funk... I only had a pb and j sandwich. I wish I didn't feel guilty about everything I eat.
My friends coming over now so I can't be blogging about ed. She already suspects... :\
<3 Halley
Anyway, I'm in a funk... I only had a pb and j sandwich. I wish I didn't feel guilty about everything I eat.
My friends coming over now so I can't be blogging about ed. She already suspects... :\
<3 Halley
Thursday, January 24, 2013
A look in my ED head
I had a lot of food today! Well it seems like a lot and it feels like a lot. But to an average person who eats normally and had no ED it wasn't a lot at all.
You don't care what I ate and I don't want to have to think about it and wallow in self hatred.
I spent an hour dancing though. I planed on half an hour then just kept saying 1 more song. Gotta love Just Dance's Just sweat game.
But I feel disgusting and fat so im going to bed.
Tomorrow will be better.
I DON'T NEED FOOD
I DON'T NEED FOOD
I DON'T NEED FOOD
I DON'T NEED FOOD
I DON'T NEED FOOD!!!
<3 Halley
You don't care what I ate and I don't want to have to think about it and wallow in self hatred.
I spent an hour dancing though. I planed on half an hour then just kept saying 1 more song. Gotta love Just Dance's Just sweat game.
But I feel disgusting and fat so im going to bed.
Tomorrow will be better.
I DON'T NEED FOOD
I DON'T NEED FOOD
I DON'T NEED FOOD
I DON'T NEED FOOD
I DON'T NEED FOOD!!!
<3 Halley
Starting over...again
Good morning!
Well, due to the recent fight with my mom, I still going to fast but more carefully. I'm not gonna do an (mom voice) "outrageously stupid" water fast. I decided. For apple slices through out the day (from one apple). Juice in the morning. Water water water. Then soup at hand for dinner. Unless I'm able to go out at night...then nothing. :) Sounds good to me.
Figured out how to follow blogs! Woo! Now who are you???
There's no school today again! Wtf?! Can you say blizzard 2013?! It didnt even snow here until the day after Christmas and now it never stops! Omg am I seriously talking about the weather? You don't care about the weather. If you do go read a weather blog! :)
I must be bored... gonna go play just dance! :D Easy fun way to burn lots of calories fast!
Since I have nothing to do I'll probably update often today.
Think thin
<3 Halley
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Shit!
My mom just barged into my room. Told me my eating habits are disgusting then asked if I'm starving myself!
She saw my calendar on my wall that said under the 29th "end fast and weigh". I'm so stupid I need to hid things better. Any tips?
But her saying my eating habits are disgusting only gives my more incentive. :) Fuck you mom I'm 18!
She saw my calendar on my wall that said under the 29th "end fast and weigh". I'm so stupid I need to hid things better. Any tips?
But her saying my eating habits are disgusting only gives my more incentive. :) Fuck you mom I'm 18!
My Fat Ass
I'm such a fat failure!
To be completely honest I hate myself inside and out today.
First I left school early because I couldn't do anything. Just had a horrible mind set from the moment I woke up.
I off course broke my fast and went to the store! The fucking store! Me, my fat ass, and my 8 dollars got out of the car and waddled into the store. Wanna know what I got? At first I wanted a thing of soup to go or whatever its called. It's only 90 calories. But I saw the deli and walked right over to the fried chicken! Yes, I'm serious. So I got 4 chicken strips, a mound of potato wedges and a dinner roll. None of it was good. I didn't eat it all but it was still a ton and I felt like shit.
Of course I didn't stop there. I never do, I had 3 pieces of chocolate, hot coco with whip cream, and as im sitting here typing down all the disgusting food I ate today I'm eating a bowl of cap'n crunch berries w/ skm milk. Not that the skim milk makes it ok.
Anyway, point is, I'm a fat ass and I'm having a horrible time with fasting! I'm gonna restart tomorrow. :\ I wish I didn't have to. I wish tomorrow was day 3. But it's my falt I'm back to day 1.
Depressed and hating myself, Halley
Hope youre all doing better than I am.
To be completely honest I hate myself inside and out today.
First I left school early because I couldn't do anything. Just had a horrible mind set from the moment I woke up.
I off course broke my fast and went to the store! The fucking store! Me, my fat ass, and my 8 dollars got out of the car and waddled into the store. Wanna know what I got? At first I wanted a thing of soup to go or whatever its called. It's only 90 calories. But I saw the deli and walked right over to the fried chicken! Yes, I'm serious. So I got 4 chicken strips, a mound of potato wedges and a dinner roll. None of it was good. I didn't eat it all but it was still a ton and I felt like shit.
Of course I didn't stop there. I never do, I had 3 pieces of chocolate, hot coco with whip cream, and as im sitting here typing down all the disgusting food I ate today I'm eating a bowl of cap'n crunch berries w/ skm milk. Not that the skim milk makes it ok.
Anyway, point is, I'm a fat ass and I'm having a horrible time with fasting! I'm gonna restart tomorrow. :\ I wish I didn't have to. I wish tomorrow was day 3. But it's my falt I'm back to day 1.
Depressed and hating myself, Halley
Hope youre all doing better than I am.
Bring in on day 2!
Good morning!
Had a little scare last night around 10:30. I had a ton of cravings and everything I almost gave in but the only thing that entered my mouth was more water and not even half a cup of tea (0 calories). The tea didn't even taste good, like it usually does to me. Progress? Think a bit.
Fortunately, I have school today. Which means I have something to do to keep my mind of food (if that were possible). Also it means that I wont be sleeping and sitting on my fat ass all day long. Unfortunately, in order to get to school I have to drive my car through snow and ice. My car had horrible breaks... not a good thing for roads coated in an inch or so of ice. Let's hope I don't die before im thin. :) I'd like to die very very thin thank you.
As I said in my first post ever, I'm in cosmetology school. Our School has an attached salon so we get experience in the real world. I'm only a junior since I only started 3 weeks ago, but this has me running all of the building getting things for senior students and teachers working on clients. And I'm full time (9-4:30 when I don't cut out early). Which mean I'm on my feel and moving for a good 7.5 hours. After school I usually wander around barns and noble for an hour or so.
Gotta go!
Catch up after school :)
<3 skinny thoughts all day
Had a little scare last night around 10:30. I had a ton of cravings and everything I almost gave in but the only thing that entered my mouth was more water and not even half a cup of tea (0 calories). The tea didn't even taste good, like it usually does to me. Progress? Think a bit.
Fortunately, I have school today. Which means I have something to do to keep my mind of food (if that were possible). Also it means that I wont be sleeping and sitting on my fat ass all day long. Unfortunately, in order to get to school I have to drive my car through snow and ice. My car had horrible breaks... not a good thing for roads coated in an inch or so of ice. Let's hope I don't die before im thin. :) I'd like to die very very thin thank you.
As I said in my first post ever, I'm in cosmetology school. Our School has an attached salon so we get experience in the real world. I'm only a junior since I only started 3 weeks ago, but this has me running all of the building getting things for senior students and teachers working on clients. And I'm full time (9-4:30 when I don't cut out early). Which mean I'm on my feel and moving for a good 7.5 hours. After school I usually wander around barns and noble for an hour or so.
Gotta go!
Catch up after school :)
<3 skinny thoughts all day
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Almost Over
Good evening!
So I've almost made it through day 1 of my 7 day water fast. For me the frst 2-3 days are hell, especially when I have NOTHING to do. And that's exactly what I did, I laid in bed for a couple hours trying to get a nap going, finally I did. It wasn't long. 3 hours -ish. When I woke up the day just drug on and on.
The only way to pass it was to read blogs and try to keep my sanity. For some reason I haven't been very hungry but still got cravings. UGH! Why do us Ana girls obsessively talk about the food we can't have? It only makes our readers want it too! Haha, I had to laugh at myself for drooling over this girl 67 calorie dinner that she had. Lightly salted popcorn, and some blueberries. Speaking of blueberries, I've been smelling them all day. What kind of hell is this? A delicious fruity starving one that I never want to leave. :)
Ever read any blogs talking about the weird, vivid food dreams people get while their fasting? Well I already had one during my nap. I was at the restraint where my mom works and I had no intention of ordering anything. Then she offered me a philly cheese steak! OMG! In the dream it sounded so good and I don't even like meat...Anyway I couldn't resist the greasy fattening mound of meat and cheese and fat. I ate the whole thing. I woke up with a jolt and did that thing where you feel the bed and your stomach to make sure it wasn't real. Thank GOD it wasn't!
I wish I could be proud of myself for resisting food all day. Usually I would but I just feel so worthless. I've basically been laying/sitting on my bed all day. I left my room 3 times to use the bathroom which is 5 feet away. I went downstairs 1 time to get toilet paper. I'm so lazy! Can you even lose weight by not eating if you don't move? I feel like I'd gain weight. Like those people on those shows that are so fat they can't even get out of bed... Oh well tomorrows a new day.
I think this is my longest post yet. I'm sorry it's not interesting yet. But I'll be doing more and having more issues and helpful hints coming soon.
Helpful hint for today:
Make a list of all the things you want most out of your fast. Add to it every time you thing of a new one. Mines getting long.
This is mine:
1.To be tiny
2.To feel light
3.To feel and see my bones (hips bones! Yay!)
4.To not hate my body
5.To fit into little girls clothes (weird?)
6.To have something to work for everyday
7.To feel like I've lost it (my weight and my mind)
8.To make myself proud
9.To not feel hungry even after days and days of fasting
10.To be told to eat because I'm "too skinny"
11.To be so think that people stare at my body instead of my face
12.To make other jealous
13.To not have to resort to mia because theres nothing in my stomach
14.To always be the skinniest girl in the room
15.To have to lie and say "I've already ate", "I'm not feeling well" etc.
16.To reach beyond my goals
17.A concave stomach - flat just isn't god enough
18.To love and welcome the feeling of starving
19.To feel fragile
20.To have delicate stick-legs :)
21.To be better than the average dieter
22.To smile at the number on the scale but not stop there
23.To not remember the last time I ate
24.To be some ones thinspo
25.To make Ana proud!
26.To not feel guilty
27.To show everyone that I can
Keep your list close to you at all times and read it whenever you feel a binge coming on. I find that is works quite well.
That's all today, my 25 readers :) It's still a mystery to me who you are but I love you anyway. Feel free to comment or follow me so I can do the same for you! Skinny dreams to all!
I'll post some thinspo tomorrow!
So I've almost made it through day 1 of my 7 day water fast. For me the frst 2-3 days are hell, especially when I have NOTHING to do. And that's exactly what I did, I laid in bed for a couple hours trying to get a nap going, finally I did. It wasn't long. 3 hours -ish. When I woke up the day just drug on and on.
The only way to pass it was to read blogs and try to keep my sanity. For some reason I haven't been very hungry but still got cravings. UGH! Why do us Ana girls obsessively talk about the food we can't have? It only makes our readers want it too! Haha, I had to laugh at myself for drooling over this girl 67 calorie dinner that she had. Lightly salted popcorn, and some blueberries. Speaking of blueberries, I've been smelling them all day. What kind of hell is this? A delicious fruity starving one that I never want to leave. :)
Ever read any blogs talking about the weird, vivid food dreams people get while their fasting? Well I already had one during my nap. I was at the restraint where my mom works and I had no intention of ordering anything. Then she offered me a philly cheese steak! OMG! In the dream it sounded so good and I don't even like meat...Anyway I couldn't resist the greasy fattening mound of meat and cheese and fat. I ate the whole thing. I woke up with a jolt and did that thing where you feel the bed and your stomach to make sure it wasn't real. Thank GOD it wasn't!
I wish I could be proud of myself for resisting food all day. Usually I would but I just feel so worthless. I've basically been laying/sitting on my bed all day. I left my room 3 times to use the bathroom which is 5 feet away. I went downstairs 1 time to get toilet paper. I'm so lazy! Can you even lose weight by not eating if you don't move? I feel like I'd gain weight. Like those people on those shows that are so fat they can't even get out of bed... Oh well tomorrows a new day.
I think this is my longest post yet. I'm sorry it's not interesting yet. But I'll be doing more and having more issues and helpful hints coming soon.
Helpful hint for today:
Make a list of all the things you want most out of your fast. Add to it every time you thing of a new one. Mines getting long.
This is mine:
1.To be tiny
2.To feel light
3.To feel and see my bones (hips bones! Yay!)
4.To not hate my body
5.To fit into little girls clothes (weird?)
6.To have something to work for everyday
7.To feel like I've lost it (my weight and my mind)
8.To make myself proud
9.To not feel hungry even after days and days of fasting
10.To be told to eat because I'm "too skinny"
11.To be so think that people stare at my body instead of my face
12.To make other jealous
13.To not have to resort to mia because theres nothing in my stomach
14.To always be the skinniest girl in the room
15.To have to lie and say "I've already ate", "I'm not feeling well" etc.
16.To reach beyond my goals
17.A concave stomach - flat just isn't god enough
18.To love and welcome the feeling of starving
19.To feel fragile
20.To have delicate stick-legs :)
21.To be better than the average dieter
22.To smile at the number on the scale but not stop there
23.To not remember the last time I ate
24.To be some ones thinspo
25.To make Ana proud!
26.To not feel guilty
27.To show everyone that I can
Keep your list close to you at all times and read it whenever you feel a binge coming on. I find that is works quite well.
That's all today, my 25 readers :) It's still a mystery to me who you are but I love you anyway. Feel free to comment or follow me so I can do the same for you! Skinny dreams to all!
I'll post some thinspo tomorrow!
Can You Help?
Just an off topic quickie.
Could someone tell me how to follow people?
Everytime I try to it doesn't work. Youtube and google aren't much help
Could someone tell me how to follow people?
Everytime I try to it doesn't work. Youtube and google aren't much help
Snow Day Blues
Ugh!
Ok I gotta rant. So this morning I get up, shower, do my hair, squeeze into my jeans and head out the door. I brave the icy roads and car accidents everywhere to make it to class. I get there right on time only to find out that it's been canceled today because of the weather!
Usually I wouldn't mind a snow day. But since I'm trying to fast, I need something to do other than sit at home all day. This will be tough since it's the first day!
Any tips on avoiding food when you have nothing to do?
Trying to keep sane, Halley.
Ok I gotta rant. So this morning I get up, shower, do my hair, squeeze into my jeans and head out the door. I brave the icy roads and car accidents everywhere to make it to class. I get there right on time only to find out that it's been canceled today because of the weather!
Usually I wouldn't mind a snow day. But since I'm trying to fast, I need something to do other than sit at home all day. This will be tough since it's the first day!
Any tips on avoiding food when you have nothing to do?
Trying to keep sane, Halley.
It's A New Day!
Good Morning!
And so begins day 1 of my water fast! I'm horrible at making up my mind when it comes to how long I want to make a fast. I was reading a blog last night. I just stumbled upon it so I don't remember the name, but this girl did a 10 day water fast followed by a 30 day juice fast. Wow! Such an inspiration! She lost almost 30 lbs! I think I might extend my water fast because she says that your body doesn't really except that its not getting food and burning your fat as an energy source until day 4 or 5. I'm thinking maybe 7 days? A full week.
So I got up the courage to step on the scale this morning... 123 ish. My scales hard to read :\ I need a digital one. If all goes as planned I'll end my fast on Jan 29th.
Last night I commented on one of my favorite bloggers blogs and got quite a few hits on my own blog! Thanks to everyone who checked it out! I know it's not all that great but I only started like 2 days ago and my blogs are all about me... That's gonna change very soon! I can't wait for all your comments so I can check out your blogs too!
I'll check back after school :) Tah!
And so begins day 1 of my water fast! I'm horrible at making up my mind when it comes to how long I want to make a fast. I was reading a blog last night. I just stumbled upon it so I don't remember the name, but this girl did a 10 day water fast followed by a 30 day juice fast. Wow! Such an inspiration! She lost almost 30 lbs! I think I might extend my water fast because she says that your body doesn't really except that its not getting food and burning your fat as an energy source until day 4 or 5. I'm thinking maybe 7 days? A full week.
So I got up the courage to step on the scale this morning... 123 ish. My scales hard to read :\ I need a digital one. If all goes as planned I'll end my fast on Jan 29th.
Last night I commented on one of my favorite bloggers blogs and got quite a few hits on my own blog! Thanks to everyone who checked it out! I know it's not all that great but I only started like 2 days ago and my blogs are all about me... That's gonna change very soon! I can't wait for all your comments so I can check out your blogs too!
I'll check back after school :) Tah!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Last solid food for over a month!
Good evening!
So I went to olive garden with my mom and step dad. I ordered off the below 445 cals menu or some number close to that... and had a tiny bit of salad and a bread stick and didn't even finish my main coarse. I had cranberry juice for a drink. Probably should've gone with water but I figured why not.
I wasn't going to feel guilty about it but that's the one part I can never seen to over come. It was actually a pretty light meal for going out. But I felt so full that I couldn't help it.
So I came home took a nap and when I woke up (20 mins ago) I had a pb&j sandwich. Which was even more filling than lunch due to the peanut butter probably. But that's it for 35 days!
I'm so excited to start this I just wanna go to bed and wake up tomorrow morning with a big glass off water! I'm gonna do this! The longest I've ever gone before was 2 days. And I had to force myself to eat the second night. I think the hardest part of this fast is going to be people offering me food and I don't know what to tell them. I guess "I'm not hungry" has gotta fly for a month.
Since I don't have any readers yet, I can't really do this for the imaginary "you guys" which means I'm doing this for myself. I'm guessing pro ana blogging was much more popular 2-3 years ago than it is now. Or maybe just blogging in general. Haha.
Maybe tonight I'll look at ways to get your blog out there.
Anyway that's all I got for tonight. What was this the 4th blog of the day? Haha sorry! But I had nothing to do and a lot on m mind. Ending the night with a calorie free cup of tea and a laxative!
Good night!
Think Thin! <3
So I went to olive garden with my mom and step dad. I ordered off the below 445 cals menu or some number close to that... and had a tiny bit of salad and a bread stick and didn't even finish my main coarse. I had cranberry juice for a drink. Probably should've gone with water but I figured why not.
I wasn't going to feel guilty about it but that's the one part I can never seen to over come. It was actually a pretty light meal for going out. But I felt so full that I couldn't help it.
So I came home took a nap and when I woke up (20 mins ago) I had a pb&j sandwich. Which was even more filling than lunch due to the peanut butter probably. But that's it for 35 days!
I'm so excited to start this I just wanna go to bed and wake up tomorrow morning with a big glass off water! I'm gonna do this! The longest I've ever gone before was 2 days. And I had to force myself to eat the second night. I think the hardest part of this fast is going to be people offering me food and I don't know what to tell them. I guess "I'm not hungry" has gotta fly for a month.
Since I don't have any readers yet, I can't really do this for the imaginary "you guys" which means I'm doing this for myself. I'm guessing pro ana blogging was much more popular 2-3 years ago than it is now. Or maybe just blogging in general. Haha.
Maybe tonight I'll look at ways to get your blog out there.
Anyway that's all I got for tonight. What was this the 4th blog of the day? Haha sorry! But I had nothing to do and a lot on m mind. Ending the night with a calorie free cup of tea and a laxative!
Good night!
Think Thin! <3
It's decided!
I know I've posted twice already today but I have a lot going through my head!
But I've decided to eat a bit at lunch today as to not raise any sucpision and then tomorrow start a 5 day water fast. Then try a 30 day juice fast. I read a girls blog and she had lost more then 20 lbs from just a 30 day juice fast alone. I know I can do this after I get past the first 5 days. :)
One last thing! I found a cool app for iphone and android but you can also access it through your computer. Check out myfitnesspal.com It helps you keep track of your food intake and will give you a rough estimate of how much you'll lose over a period of time. Such a big help!
Tah!
But I've decided to eat a bit at lunch today as to not raise any sucpision and then tomorrow start a 5 day water fast. Then try a 30 day juice fast. I read a girls blog and she had lost more then 20 lbs from just a 30 day juice fast alone. I know I can do this after I get past the first 5 days. :)
One last thing! I found a cool app for iphone and android but you can also access it through your computer. Check out myfitnesspal.com It helps you keep track of your food intake and will give you a rough estimate of how much you'll lose over a period of time. Such a big help!
Tah!
A New Day!
Good morning!
So all weekend I've been eating my ass off and planning on starting a water and tea fast today. I haven't decided how long I want it to be. The longest I've gone was two days. I could've gone longer but my mom wanted to order dinner and watch movies and I couldn't deny her because she never ever wants to do stuff with me. And I don't know if its just me but after I have one tiny bite of anything.... I can't stop. Then of coarse I hate myself until I starve myself until my stomach hurts. This vicious cycle is worse than the pain of hunger.
Anyway, my mom wants to go to Olive Garden because she has the day off work and I don't have school today.... what to do. If I stay I home I eat out of boredom. If I go out she'll be suspicious it I don't order anything but water. So maybe I need to try the move your food around and make it look like you ate it... This could go badly.
But under no circumstances will a calorie enter my body today.... The first day of a fast is always the hardest. But this too shall pass :)
I plan on keeping busy with homework and laundry... my closet is almost empty! Yikes! I don't mind doing laundry I just hate hanging up clothes. :P
Oh and I broke my phone last night....
Hoping for a better day than the last
Will update again soon.
So all weekend I've been eating my ass off and planning on starting a water and tea fast today. I haven't decided how long I want it to be. The longest I've gone was two days. I could've gone longer but my mom wanted to order dinner and watch movies and I couldn't deny her because she never ever wants to do stuff with me. And I don't know if its just me but after I have one tiny bite of anything.... I can't stop. Then of coarse I hate myself until I starve myself until my stomach hurts. This vicious cycle is worse than the pain of hunger.
Anyway, my mom wants to go to Olive Garden because she has the day off work and I don't have school today.... what to do. If I stay I home I eat out of boredom. If I go out she'll be suspicious it I don't order anything but water. So maybe I need to try the move your food around and make it look like you ate it... This could go badly.
But under no circumstances will a calorie enter my body today.... The first day of a fast is always the hardest. But this too shall pass :)
I plan on keeping busy with homework and laundry... my closet is almost empty! Yikes! I don't mind doing laundry I just hate hanging up clothes. :P
Oh and I broke my phone last night....
Hoping for a better day than the last
Will update again soon.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Bored and Sleepless
It's 1 am and I'm up reading pro ana blogs of coarse. It just got me to thinking that It would be so awesome to have followers like that. Most of the blogs I've read are a couple years old... are there stills girls (or guys) out there that are open with their anorexia? If so please let me know how you feel about my blogs and if you'd like to hear more from me and I'd love any tips that you have to share :) Thanks Bunches :)
This is me :)
Good Evening!
Hi! So this is my very first blog! Ever! So let me introduce myself and explain what the heck I'm doing here!
My name is Halley. I'm 18. I live in Michigan, hopefully not for much longer. I'm currently in cosmetology school (hair, make up nails, etc.) I absolutely love it. Hair styling's been a passion of mine since high school. And I'm pro Ana. If you don't know what that is then I'm not sure how you found yourself reading my blog. Anyway this is my short story with Ana.
When I was younger, I was always very small and thin. Always getting compliments and older women commenting on how they wish they had my body... which to this day I don't understand... I guess they wanted the body of an 8 year old? Who knows. Anyway, I never had a problem with weight until I hit puberty around age 13. Around that time I began to become mushy and pudgy. Bleh! It wasn't until this last August that it got to the point where I couldn't look at myself anymore. I was disgusted by myself. I was never interested in the photos of "healthy" girls. I wanted to be skinny. So skinny I could feel my bones. That's when I started reading pro ana sites and doing a fast here and there but never really getting anywhere. I found myself actually eating more than usual. Or maybe it just seemed that way because I knew I wasn't allowed to eat. So after months and months of failure I decided that maybe if I had more things to do it would keep my mind off food. That's one of the reasons why I'm here. I've read a lot of other pro ana blogs on here and they help a lot. I would also be grateful to have the support of a few readers. This would be easier knowing there's people to help me along this journey. I could help you too. :)
That's all for this time.
My stats:
Start weight: 125 lbs
Current weight: Around 120 lbs (I haven't weight in a while :\ I'm scared)
Goal weight: 95 lbs (probably keep going after that...bad idea?)
When I was younger, I was always very small and thin. Always getting compliments and older women commenting on how they wish they had my body... which to this day I don't understand... I guess they wanted the body of an 8 year old? Who knows. Anyway, I never had a problem with weight until I hit puberty around age 13. Around that time I began to become mushy and pudgy. Bleh! It wasn't until this last August that it got to the point where I couldn't look at myself anymore. I was disgusted by myself. I was never interested in the photos of "healthy" girls. I wanted to be skinny. So skinny I could feel my bones. That's when I started reading pro ana sites and doing a fast here and there but never really getting anywhere. I found myself actually eating more than usual. Or maybe it just seemed that way because I knew I wasn't allowed to eat. So after months and months of failure I decided that maybe if I had more things to do it would keep my mind off food. That's one of the reasons why I'm here. I've read a lot of other pro ana blogs on here and they help a lot. I would also be grateful to have the support of a few readers. This would be easier knowing there's people to help me along this journey. I could help you too. :)
That's all for this time.
My stats:
Start weight: 125 lbs
Current weight: Around 120 lbs (I haven't weight in a while :\ I'm scared)
Goal weight: 95 lbs (probably keep going after that...bad idea?)
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