Almost Over

Good evening!

So I've almost made it through day 1 of my 7 day water fast. For me the frst 2-3 days are hell, especially when I have NOTHING to do. And that's exactly what I did, I laid in bed for a couple hours trying to get a nap going, finally I did. It wasn't long. 3 hours -ish. When I woke up the day just drug on and on.

The only way to pass it was to read blogs and try to keep my sanity. For some reason I haven't been very hungry but still got cravings. UGH! Why do us Ana girls obsessively talk about the food we can't have? It only makes our readers want it too! Haha, I had to laugh at myself for drooling over this girl 67 calorie dinner that she had. Lightly salted popcorn, and some blueberries. Speaking of blueberries, I've been smelling them all day. What kind of hell is this? A delicious fruity starving one that I never want to leave. :)

Ever read any blogs talking about the weird, vivid food dreams people get while their fasting? Well I already had one during my nap. I was at the restraint where my mom works and I had no intention of ordering anything. Then she offered me a philly cheese steak! OMG! In the dream it sounded so good and I don't even like meat...Anyway I couldn't resist the greasy fattening mound of meat and cheese and fat. I ate the whole thing. I woke up with a jolt and did that thing where you feel the bed and your stomach to make sure it wasn't real. Thank GOD it wasn't!

I wish I could be proud of myself for resisting food all day. Usually I would but I just feel so worthless. I've basically been laying/sitting on my bed all day. I left my room 3 times to use the bathroom which is 5 feet away. I went downstairs 1 time to get toilet paper. I'm so lazy! Can you even lose weight by not eating if you don't move? I feel like I'd gain weight. Like those people on those shows that are so fat they can't even get out of bed... Oh well tomorrows a new day.


I think this is my longest post yet. I'm sorry it's not interesting yet. But I'll be doing more and having more issues and helpful hints coming soon.
Helpful hint for today:
Make a list of all the things you want most out of your fast. Add to it every time you thing of a new one. Mines getting long.

This is mine:
1.To be tiny
2.To feel light
3.To feel and see my bones (hips bones! Yay!)
4.To not hate my body
5.To fit into little girls clothes (weird?)
6.To have something to work for everyday
7.To feel like I've lost it (my weight and my mind)
8.To make myself proud
9.To not feel hungry even after days and days of fasting
10.To be told to eat because I'm "too skinny"
11.To be so think that people stare at my body instead of my face
12.To make other jealous
13.To not have to resort to mia because theres nothing in my stomach
14.To always be the skinniest girl in the room
15.To have to lie and say "I've already ate", "I'm not feeling well" etc.
16.To reach beyond my goals
17.A concave stomach - flat just isn't god enough
18.To love and welcome the feeling of starving
19.To feel fragile
20.To have delicate stick-legs :)
21.To be better than the average dieter
22.To smile at the number on the scale but not stop there
23.To not remember the last time I ate
24.To be some ones thinspo
25.To make Ana proud!
26.To not feel guilty
27.To show everyone that I can

Keep your list close to you at all times and read it whenever you feel a binge coming on. I find that is works quite well.

That's all today, my 25 readers :) It's still a mystery to me who you are but I love you anyway. Feel free to comment or follow me so I can do the same for you! Skinny dreams to all!

I'll post some thinspo tomorrow!