Good Morning!
So it's day one and I am in a really good mood!
I start working again today! Yay money!
I work at a green house (plants and flower and such) so obviously it's seasonal. I make pretty good money but right now I'm only working 3 hours a day because I have school till 1 and it's early in the season so theres not much that needs to be done.
Day one of ABC allows 500 cals or less. I know I'm gonna need energy for work but I'm not hungry. And if I eat later in the day I know I'll binge so i think I'll shove down one of the Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches. (410)
Then later a special k cereal bar (90) and loads of water :)
Once I get my first pay check I'm gonna buy some 00 shorts from PacSun. I think it's possible to fit into them by summer. I have no hips. Even If I was skinny... I'd still have a muffin top cause my hips haven't grown since I was like 11. Everything else kept growing though. So I can't just be skinny I have to be anorexic. Thats ok :)
Wish me luck today!
<3 Halley
Monday, February 11, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
What else is wrong with you???
So I have a confession to make...
Apart from being Anorexic/Bulimic...
I often take sleeping pills and drink a couple energy drinks with them.
If you've ever smoked pot, the high is basically the same but stronger and you don't get hungry. And the morning after you feel like shit all day and don't wanna eat anything... but i did. I just ate a king size hershey's with almonds bar in record time. 320 cals. Ugh but now I feel like total and complete shit!
Anyway, I told you all that I was doing the ABC diet. If you don't know what that is, it's short for Ana Boot Camp. It doesn't seem that hard. But usually once I start eating I can't stop. But lately that hasn't been happening. These days I can't even finish my food. And when I do I throw it all up.
The ABC diet is 6 weeks long and you're supposed to loose about 50 pounds. It'll probably be shorter for me though for a couple reasons.
1) If I lost 50 lbs I'd weigh about 73 lbs... At the moment thats just too thin.
2)I'll end up adding more fasting days... I think theres only one fasting day a week or something.
Here's the original. I'll switch it up as I go.
OFFICIAL ABC DIET
WEEK #1
Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
WEEK #2
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: Fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
WEEK#3
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: Fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: Fast
21: 300 calories
WEEK #4
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
WEEK #5
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800 calories
32: Fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
WEEK # 5
36: Fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
WEEK #6
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: Fast
If anyone wants to join me we could have a little friendly competition.
Can't wait to get started!
<3 Halley
Apart from being Anorexic/Bulimic...
I often take sleeping pills and drink a couple energy drinks with them.
If you've ever smoked pot, the high is basically the same but stronger and you don't get hungry. And the morning after you feel like shit all day and don't wanna eat anything... but i did. I just ate a king size hershey's with almonds bar in record time. 320 cals. Ugh but now I feel like total and complete shit!
Anyway, I told you all that I was doing the ABC diet. If you don't know what that is, it's short for Ana Boot Camp. It doesn't seem that hard. But usually once I start eating I can't stop. But lately that hasn't been happening. These days I can't even finish my food. And when I do I throw it all up.
The ABC diet is 6 weeks long and you're supposed to loose about 50 pounds. It'll probably be shorter for me though for a couple reasons.
1) If I lost 50 lbs I'd weigh about 73 lbs... At the moment thats just too thin.
2)I'll end up adding more fasting days... I think theres only one fasting day a week or something.
Here's the original. I'll switch it up as I go.
OFFICIAL ABC DIET
WEEK #1
Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
WEEK #2
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: Fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
WEEK#3
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: Fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: Fast
21: 300 calories
WEEK #4
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
WEEK #5
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800 calories
32: Fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
WEEK # 5
36: Fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
WEEK #6
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: Fast
If anyone wants to join me we could have a little friendly competition.
Can't wait to get started!
<3 Halley
Friday, February 8, 2013
My Promise
I know I always promise to post thinspo but I never do... But I am today! Yay! Also I'll share those steps I talked about in my last post.
Today is all about those hip bones!
Hip bones are my favorite! :)
Anyway, on to the steps!
Step 1: Ask
Get clear on the weight you want to be. Have a picture in your mind of what you will look like when you have become that perfect weight. Get pictures of yourself at your perfect weight,if you have them, and look at them often. If not, get pictures of the body you would like to have and look at those often.
Step 2: Believe
You must believe you will receive and that the perfect weight is yours already. You must see yourself as receiving the perfect weight.
Write out your perfect weight and place it over the readout of your scale, or don't weight yourself at all. Do not contradict what you have asked for with your thoughts, words, and actions. Don't buy clothes at your current weight. have faith and focus on the clothes you are going to buy. Attracting the perfect weight is the same as placing an order with the catalogue of the Universe. You look through the catalogue, choose the perfect weight, place your order, and then it is delivered to you.
Make it your intention to look for, admire, and inwardly praise people with your idea of perfect-weight bodies. Seek them out and as you admire them and feel the feelings of that - you are summoning it to you. If you see people who are overweight, do not observe them, but immediately switch your mind to the picture of you in your perfect body and feel it.
Step 3: Receive
You must feel good. You must feel good about You. This is important, because you cannot attract you perfect weight if you feel bad about your body now. If you feel bad about your body, that is a powerful feeling, and you will continue to attract feeling bad about your body. You will never change your body if you are critical of it and find fault with it, and in fact you will attract more weight to you. Praise and bless every square inch of your body. Think about all the perfect things about You. As you think perfect thoughts, as you feel good about You, you are on the frequency of your perfect weight, and you are summoning perfection.
Wallace Wattles shares a wonderful tip about eating in one of his books. He recommends that when you eat, make sure you are entirely focused on the experience of chewing the food. Keep your mind present and experience the sensation of eating food, and do not allow your mind to drift to other things. Be present in your body and enjoy all the sensations of chewing the food in your mouth and swallowing it. Try it the next time you are eating. When you are completely present as you eat, the flavor of the food is so intense and magnificent; when you let your mind drift, the flavor virtually disappears. I am convinced that if we can eat our food in the present, entirely focused on the pleasurable experience of eating, the food is assimilated into our bodies perfectly,and the result in our bodies must be perfection.
The end of the story about my own weight is that I now maintain my perfect weight of 116 pounds and I can eat whatever I want. So, focus on your perfect weight!
Sounds easy enough right?
One question... How the hell do I control my thoughts?! Ah!
I am NOT a zen master... But it won't hurt to try.
Ill try the chewing things tonight... me and my friends are getting indian food... I like it but all I taste is calories :P I hate that part. I prefer not eating at all.
Anyway, monday I'm starting ABC. With my own variations :)
Perfect thoughts everyone!
<3 Halley
Today is all about those hip bones!
Hip bones are my favorite! :)
Anyway, on to the steps!
Step 1: Ask
Get clear on the weight you want to be. Have a picture in your mind of what you will look like when you have become that perfect weight. Get pictures of yourself at your perfect weight,if you have them, and look at them often. If not, get pictures of the body you would like to have and look at those often.
Step 2: Believe
You must believe you will receive and that the perfect weight is yours already. You must see yourself as receiving the perfect weight.
Write out your perfect weight and place it over the readout of your scale, or don't weight yourself at all. Do not contradict what you have asked for with your thoughts, words, and actions. Don't buy clothes at your current weight. have faith and focus on the clothes you are going to buy. Attracting the perfect weight is the same as placing an order with the catalogue of the Universe. You look through the catalogue, choose the perfect weight, place your order, and then it is delivered to you.
Make it your intention to look for, admire, and inwardly praise people with your idea of perfect-weight bodies. Seek them out and as you admire them and feel the feelings of that - you are summoning it to you. If you see people who are overweight, do not observe them, but immediately switch your mind to the picture of you in your perfect body and feel it.
Step 3: Receive
You must feel good. You must feel good about You. This is important, because you cannot attract you perfect weight if you feel bad about your body now. If you feel bad about your body, that is a powerful feeling, and you will continue to attract feeling bad about your body. You will never change your body if you are critical of it and find fault with it, and in fact you will attract more weight to you. Praise and bless every square inch of your body. Think about all the perfect things about You. As you think perfect thoughts, as you feel good about You, you are on the frequency of your perfect weight, and you are summoning perfection.
Wallace Wattles shares a wonderful tip about eating in one of his books. He recommends that when you eat, make sure you are entirely focused on the experience of chewing the food. Keep your mind present and experience the sensation of eating food, and do not allow your mind to drift to other things. Be present in your body and enjoy all the sensations of chewing the food in your mouth and swallowing it. Try it the next time you are eating. When you are completely present as you eat, the flavor of the food is so intense and magnificent; when you let your mind drift, the flavor virtually disappears. I am convinced that if we can eat our food in the present, entirely focused on the pleasurable experience of eating, the food is assimilated into our bodies perfectly,and the result in our bodies must be perfection.
The end of the story about my own weight is that I now maintain my perfect weight of 116 pounds and I can eat whatever I want. So, focus on your perfect weight!
Sounds easy enough right?
One question... How the hell do I control my thoughts?! Ah!
I am NOT a zen master... But it won't hurt to try.
Ill try the chewing things tonight... me and my friends are getting indian food... I like it but all I taste is calories :P I hate that part. I prefer not eating at all.
Anyway, monday I'm starting ABC. With my own variations :)
Perfect thoughts everyone!
<3 Halley
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Not the way I want
I feel like I'm wasting away, but not the ay I want to.
I always feel tired these days. I don't know why either. I've been eating less but it's shit food. Like today I didn't eat until about 5:30 and it was a piece of pizza with like spinach and mushrooms on it (couldn't throw in up for some reason). So I'm not sure why I feel like such crap.
I wanna weight myself but I hate weighing too often because I feel more accomplished when I see smaller numbers on the scale. I'll wait till... Monday morning. Ugh that seems years away.
Maybe I feel like crap and I'm not reaching goals I set because I'm so fricken negative. I read all these blogs and everyone seems so up-beat and optimistic. I've never been a perky person. Maybe it' time for a change. In the name of Ana I shall be up-beat and perky from now on. Ever hear that saying "if you can fake happiness, you will become truly happy". I think thats true.
There's supposed to be a big snow storm tonight here in Michigan. Surprise surprise! Ugh so sick of the snow! But I am hoping for another snow day. That'd be nice. Gotta get all my laundry done! And vacuum my room, and scrub my hair dye stained bathroom counter and not eat.
Wait, I was reading this book called the secret. I highly recommend it! Anyway, one chapter talks about how if you want things in a negative way the universe wont understand and will flip it around. For example in terms of weight loss, if you thought to yourself;
"I don't want to gain weight" the universe wouldn't recognize the word "don't" because it's negative so it would think you said "I want to gain weight".
Or if you said;
"I can't eat today" the universe wouldn't understand the negative word "can't" so you would most likely end up eating that day. And usually eating more than you usually would.
So basically it's just saying when you're asking the universe for something, you need to ask for it in a positive way.
For example;
"I want to lose weight"
and
"I want to starve today"
I know the last one sounds harsh lol but in my mind the word "starve"is positive especially in this sentence;
"I'm starving! I've been starving for weeks!" :)
So in this book "The Secret" there's a whole "weight loss" section. I will share it with you for free. I'll type it word for word out of the book.
The Secret and Your Body:
Let's look at using the Creative Process for those who feel they are overweight and who want to lose weight.
The first thing you need to know is that if you focus on losing weight, you will attract back having to lose more weight, so get "having to lose weight" out of your mind. It' the very reason why diets don't work. Because you are focused on losing weight, you must attract back continually having to lose weight.
The second thing to know is that the condition of being overweight was created through your thought to it. To put it in the most basic terms, if someone is overweight, it came from thinking "fat thoughts", whether that person was aware of it or not. A person cannot think "thin thoughts" and be fat. It completely defies the law of attraction.
Whether people have been told they have a slot thyroid, a slow metabolism, or their body size is hereditary, these are all disguises for thinking "fat thoughts". If you accept any of those conditions as applicable to you, and you believe it, it must become your experience, and you will continue to attract being overweight.
After I had my two daughters I was overweight, and I know it came from listening and reading the messages that it is hard to lose weight after having a baby, and even harder after the second baby. I summoned exactly that to me with those "fat thoughts", and it became my experience. I really "beefed up", and the more I noticed how I had "beefed up", the more "beefing up" I attracted. With a small frame, I became a hefty 143 pounds, all because I was thinking "fat thoughts".
The most common thought that people hold, and I held it too, is that food was responsible for my weight gain. That is a belief that does not serve you, and in my mind now it is complete balderdash! Food is not responsible for putting on weight. It is your thought that food is responsible for putting on weight that actually has food put on weight. Remember, thoughts are primary cause of everything, and the rest is effects from those thoughts. Think perfect thoughts and the result must be perfect weight.
Let go of all those limiting thoughts. Food cannot cause you to put on weight, unless you think it can.
The definition of the perfect weight is the weight that feels good for you. No one else's opinion counts. It is the weight that feels good for you.
You most likely know of someone who is thin and eats like a horse, and they proudly declare, " I can eat whatever I want and I am always the perfect weight." And so the Genie of the universe says, "You're wish is my command!"
Ok well there's like a three step process you can follow to think thin thoughts an attract thiness and perfection but this post is sooooo long. Ill post the steps along with some thinspo tomorrow.
My fingers and eyes hurt! Probably enough blogging for tonight!
Think thin lovelies!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
What a headache!
Haven't eaten yet today
I'm sitting here with a fiber one bar... I can't bring myself to eat it.
It's 140 calories but i just cant do it...
I want it but i dont...
uuugghh so confusing
I'm sitting here with a fiber one bar... I can't bring myself to eat it.
It's 140 calories but i just cant do it...
I want it but i dont...
uuugghh so confusing
Monday, February 4, 2013
Back to the Norm
So I'll start posting everyday again.
Pinky swear. :)
Yesterday I told my best friend everything.
Well, that was a lie. I didn't tell he about this blog. Not ready for that just yet.
Basically I told her that I have ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) I said that because I'm not only anorexic but I make myself sick quite often so I must be bulimic too. Tying to sound all doctory here. I was so scared to tell her, she said she kinda knew and she doesnt mind as long as I'm smat about it and not take it too far. Then she gave me her "I know you will" look. But at the moment every things good. :)
I know I promised so thinspo pics...
Tomorrow!!! Ill write it on my forehead backwards so I remember!
Thin, thin THIN! Thoughts
<3 Halley
Pinky swear. :)
Yesterday I told my best friend everything.
Well, that was a lie. I didn't tell he about this blog. Not ready for that just yet.
Basically I told her that I have ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) I said that because I'm not only anorexic but I make myself sick quite often so I must be bulimic too. Tying to sound all doctory here. I was so scared to tell her, she said she kinda knew and she doesnt mind as long as I'm smat about it and not take it too far. Then she gave me her "I know you will" look. But at the moment every things good. :)
I know I promised so thinspo pics...
Tomorrow!!! Ill write it on my forehead backwards so I remember!
Thin, thin THIN! Thoughts
<3 Halley
Sunday, February 3, 2013
I'm a bad
Blogger...
I'm really sorry I've been a boring blogger lately... It's just been a busy week and I hate posting all my failures :\
BUT!
I found something cool! It's a 7 day fast and my teacher lost 14 lbs! Damn!!!
I can't do it yet cause I don't have the money t get all the stuff right now but if you wanna try it out here it is... With side notes from Ana :)
So the day before you start you need to make this "Fat Burning Soup" not sure how this works (how do you lose weight from eating?) but my teacher is living proof that it does. Wish I had before and after pics of her! Anyway,
6 large green onions (scallions)
1-2 large cans of tomatoes - depending on how much you like tomatoes I guess (1 can.. duh! fat ass)
1 bunch of celery
1 large head of cabbage
1 package of Lipton Onion Soup Mix
If desired:
pepper,curry,parsley, or 6 bouillon cubes (you don't need those)
Cut veggies in small to medium pieces and cover with water. Boil for 10 minutes. Reduce to a simmer and continue cooking until veggies are tender.
This can be eaten anytime you're hungry (are you really hungry). Eat as much as you want(no), whenever you want (no). This soup will not add calories (Ha!); the more you eat the more you lose. (Sorry but Ana does not agree.) If eaten alone for indefinite periods, you would suffer from malnutrition. (AKA: your pretty bones will show) Fill a thermos in the morning if you will be away during the day. (But you don't have to)
Theeeeen You start your 7 days!
Day one: All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruit you want except bananas. Cantaloup and watermelon are lower in calories than most fruits (so just eat a bit of those, if you can't control yourself). :) Eat only the soup you made and fruit. Drink only unsweetened tea, cranberry juice, or water.
Day two: All veggies. Eat until you are full (ew) with all the fresh, raw or cooked veggies of your choice. Try to eat green, leafy veggies and try to stay away from dry beans, peas, and corn. Eat all the veggies you want along with your soup. At dinner time, reward yourself with a big baked potato with butter (it's only day 2! You think you deserve that?!). Eat all the soup you want (sure if you wanna get fat!)but no fruits.
Day three: Mix day one and day two. Eat all the soup, fruit, and veggies you want. NO baked potato today!
Day four: Bananas and skim milk. Eat as many as 8 bananas (Holy shit! Is that enough for you fat ass?!) and drink as many glasses of skimmed milk as you can (then go talk to Mia!) along with your soup. Bananas are high in calories (ew); so is the milk(ew). But on this particular day, your body will need potassium, carbohydrates, proteins, and calcium to lessen your craving for sweets.
Day five: Meat and tomatoes (or salad). You may have 10- 20 ounces (or 2...) of baked or broiled meat. Try to drink as many as 6-8 glasses of water to wash away the uric acid in your body. Eat your soup at least once.
Day six: Beef and veggies. No potatoes please. Only baked or broiled beef along with your soup.
Day seven: Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices, and veggies. Again, stuff, stuff, stuff yourself (Then Purge!!!)! Be sure to eat your soup at least once today. If haven't cheated on this diet, you should find that you've lost pounds. If you've lost more than 15 lbs stay off the diet for 2 days before doing it again (but you don't have to).
Definite no-no's: Bread, alcoholic beverages, or carbonated beverages.
You can drink water, unsweetened tea, black coffee, or unsweetened fruit juices.
So thats it! To me it seems like a shit load of food! But I guess that leaves less room for error witch is good. But I know even if I had 1 bite of anything I'd feel guilty.
You can do it the regular way or Ana's way. The way I see it, either way you lose weight. And you can do it more than once... Keep going after 7 days.
If you have any questions just post it in the comments. I'd love to answer any questions you have. I'll let you know when I plan to start this and let me know if you wanna join me. If you decide you want to do this comment your results for me! That be really helpful and motivational to others! :)
Good luck! -Halley
I'm really sorry I've been a boring blogger lately... It's just been a busy week and I hate posting all my failures :\
BUT!
I found something cool! It's a 7 day fast and my teacher lost 14 lbs! Damn!!!
I can't do it yet cause I don't have the money t get all the stuff right now but if you wanna try it out here it is... With side notes from Ana :)
So the day before you start you need to make this "Fat Burning Soup" not sure how this works (how do you lose weight from eating?) but my teacher is living proof that it does. Wish I had before and after pics of her! Anyway,
6 large green onions (scallions)
1-2 large cans of tomatoes - depending on how much you like tomatoes I guess (1 can.. duh! fat ass)
1 bunch of celery
1 large head of cabbage
1 package of Lipton Onion Soup Mix
If desired:
pepper,curry,parsley, or 6 bouillon cubes (you don't need those)
Cut veggies in small to medium pieces and cover with water. Boil for 10 minutes. Reduce to a simmer and continue cooking until veggies are tender.
This can be eaten anytime you're hungry (are you really hungry). Eat as much as you want(no), whenever you want (no). This soup will not add calories (Ha!); the more you eat the more you lose. (Sorry but Ana does not agree.) If eaten alone for indefinite periods, you would suffer from malnutrition. (AKA: your pretty bones will show) Fill a thermos in the morning if you will be away during the day. (But you don't have to)
Theeeeen You start your 7 days!
Day one: All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruit you want except bananas. Cantaloup and watermelon are lower in calories than most fruits (so just eat a bit of those, if you can't control yourself). :) Eat only the soup you made and fruit. Drink only unsweetened tea, cranberry juice, or water.
Day two: All veggies. Eat until you are full (ew) with all the fresh, raw or cooked veggies of your choice. Try to eat green, leafy veggies and try to stay away from dry beans, peas, and corn. Eat all the veggies you want along with your soup. At dinner time, reward yourself with a big baked potato with butter (it's only day 2! You think you deserve that?!). Eat all the soup you want (sure if you wanna get fat!)but no fruits.
Day three: Mix day one and day two. Eat all the soup, fruit, and veggies you want. NO baked potato today!
Day four: Bananas and skim milk. Eat as many as 8 bananas (Holy shit! Is that enough for you fat ass?!) and drink as many glasses of skimmed milk as you can (then go talk to Mia!) along with your soup. Bananas are high in calories (ew); so is the milk(ew). But on this particular day, your body will need potassium, carbohydrates, proteins, and calcium to lessen your craving for sweets.
Day five: Meat and tomatoes (or salad). You may have 10- 20 ounces (or 2...) of baked or broiled meat. Try to drink as many as 6-8 glasses of water to wash away the uric acid in your body. Eat your soup at least once.
Day six: Beef and veggies. No potatoes please. Only baked or broiled beef along with your soup.
Day seven: Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices, and veggies. Again, stuff, stuff, stuff yourself (Then Purge!!!)! Be sure to eat your soup at least once today. If haven't cheated on this diet, you should find that you've lost pounds. If you've lost more than 15 lbs stay off the diet for 2 days before doing it again (but you don't have to).
Definite no-no's: Bread, alcoholic beverages, or carbonated beverages.
You can drink water, unsweetened tea, black coffee, or unsweetened fruit juices.
So thats it! To me it seems like a shit load of food! But I guess that leaves less room for error witch is good. But I know even if I had 1 bite of anything I'd feel guilty.
You can do it the regular way or Ana's way. The way I see it, either way you lose weight. And you can do it more than once... Keep going after 7 days.
If you have any questions just post it in the comments. I'd love to answer any questions you have. I'll let you know when I plan to start this and let me know if you wanna join me. If you decide you want to do this comment your results for me! That be really helpful and motivational to others! :)
Good luck! -Halley
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