WTF is wrong with me?????
My mom cut me off from food....
Am I that fat?
Yes.
ugh v.v
I ate an apple...
Moms pissed
Gonna go puke it up
and go to bed
<3
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Any Opinions?
Well I finally got the courage up to weight myself today... I ate all day yesterday. Just fyi before I give you the numbers.
Highest Weight: 129 lbs
Lowest Weight: 111 lbs
Current Weight: 122 lbs
Age: 18
Hight: 5" 3.5'
BMI: 21.2
Goal Weight: 100 lbs
There ya have it! I don't think I ever gave my stats. I wanna reach my goal weight by my birthday, May 18. Me and my best friend are going to Chicago and theres a pool in the Hotel were staying at and I'm sick of being a fat failure.
Which is why I've decided to create my own diet. Same thing everyday...
Breakfast: Nature Valley Granola Bar (180) And coffee w/ Skim milk (25)
Lunch: Diet Pepsi and some kind of fruit ex, apple, kiwi, strawberries watever i can find (varied)
Dinner: Small salad w/ light italian dressing (50 ish)
Tell me what you think!
Highest Weight: 129 lbs
Lowest Weight: 111 lbs
Current Weight: 122 lbs
Age: 18
Hight: 5" 3.5'
BMI: 21.2
Goal Weight: 100 lbs
There ya have it! I don't think I ever gave my stats. I wanna reach my goal weight by my birthday, May 18. Me and my best friend are going to Chicago and theres a pool in the Hotel were staying at and I'm sick of being a fat failure.
Which is why I've decided to create my own diet. Same thing everyday...
Breakfast: Nature Valley Granola Bar (180) And coffee w/ Skim milk (25)
Lunch: Diet Pepsi and some kind of fruit ex, apple, kiwi, strawberries watever i can find (varied)
Dinner: Small salad w/ light italian dressing (50 ish)
Tell me what you think!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Too Early, Too Tired, Too Fat, Too Sick
Please hold as I pull my thoughts, and myself, together.
This is gonna be short. Cause I'm already running late but I don't care cause I don't wanna go to school today. Fuck monday!
Anyway, I've decided to stick with the abc diet. If I dont loose 5+ lbs by next monday then... I'm gonna figure out some other way to get skinny. Probably like fasting every other day or just not eating until I pass out or something...
I didn't weigh myself this morning cause I'm a coward. I'm also gonna stop giving myself breaks on the weekends. It pointless because, whatever I lost during the week, I gain it back on the weekend. :P
Well thats it for now
<3 Halley
This is gonna be short. Cause I'm already running late but I don't care cause I don't wanna go to school today. Fuck monday!
Anyway, I've decided to stick with the abc diet. If I dont loose 5+ lbs by next monday then... I'm gonna figure out some other way to get skinny. Probably like fasting every other day or just not eating until I pass out or something...
I didn't weigh myself this morning cause I'm a coward. I'm also gonna stop giving myself breaks on the weekends. It pointless because, whatever I lost during the week, I gain it back on the weekend. :P
Well thats it for now
<3 Halley
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Weekend Blues
I am the only person ever who doesn't like weekends.
Don't get me wrong, I look forward to it all week long. But then it gets here and I'm like, "Woo weekend! Eat EVERYTHING! RAWWWRR!" Yeah that's pretty much how it goes and yesterday and today have just been nonstop eating. And I hate it.
It's 7:30 pm and I'm done for the weekend. I decided to play with my hair to distract me. It always works. Trying to see if pink will cover me orange hair.
I bought some books online. The first one came today, it's called Perfect by Natasha Friend. It's a pro ana book, well that what I thought it was gonna be. But it's pro mia and a little young for me considering it's from the point of view of a 13 year old. I'm also reading Looks by Madeleine George. That ones good but I can't decide if it's pro ana. he never says anything about her weight, never worries, and she just says shes allergic to a lot of foods and I don't know if it's true or part of her ED. There's another book on the way but I can't remember what it is lol.
Anyway, I weighed myself friday right before I passed out from having 100 calories in 2 days. Some how I was 120... how? Maybe I'm at a platue... any tips for getting off?
I'm feeling like this ABC diet isnt working for me cuz I lost like 1 lb. the first week... thats it. I'll just go back to not eating until I have to. :) I like that. It's easy. No counting calories.
Well I hope all is well with you skinny people. Maybe I can join you some day soon? I'm gonna go take some laxatives and see what this pink hair dye did.
<3Halley
Don't get me wrong, I look forward to it all week long. But then it gets here and I'm like, "Woo weekend! Eat EVERYTHING! RAWWWRR!" Yeah that's pretty much how it goes and yesterday and today have just been nonstop eating. And I hate it.
It's 7:30 pm and I'm done for the weekend. I decided to play with my hair to distract me. It always works. Trying to see if pink will cover me orange hair.
I bought some books online. The first one came today, it's called Perfect by Natasha Friend. It's a pro ana book, well that what I thought it was gonna be. But it's pro mia and a little young for me considering it's from the point of view of a 13 year old. I'm also reading Looks by Madeleine George. That ones good but I can't decide if it's pro ana. he never says anything about her weight, never worries, and she just says shes allergic to a lot of foods and I don't know if it's true or part of her ED. There's another book on the way but I can't remember what it is lol.
Anyway, I weighed myself friday right before I passed out from having 100 calories in 2 days. Some how I was 120... how? Maybe I'm at a platue... any tips for getting off?
I'm feeling like this ABC diet isnt working for me cuz I lost like 1 lb. the first week... thats it. I'll just go back to not eating until I have to. :) I like that. It's easy. No counting calories.
Well I hope all is well with you skinny people. Maybe I can join you some day soon? I'm gonna go take some laxatives and see what this pink hair dye did.
<3Halley
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Oh Geez!
Good Evening!
I get so paranoid of my mother finding out about my ED!
Once she caught me while I was purging and I told her I was choking, and just now, I dizzily walked to the kitchen to get some jello. I walled passed her and I guess she was talking me and I almost walked into the wall. XD My excuse this time was I just woke up from a nap.
I love this! I love how I think about giving up and while I'm at work be like "whatever I don't care if I get fat! I'm gonna get Arby's after work!" But then I drive right by and instead pick of some 10 cal jello cups from the store.
Today I was only supposed to have 150 cals. I've had.... drum roll please. 145! What's 5 calories? Ah, screw it. Close enough. I love the meals I come up with...
Breakfast: Nature Valley Granola thin (80)
Diet Pepsi (0)
Lunch: Half a special K protein bar (55)
Large Diet coke from mcdonald's (0)
Dinner: Lemon Lime Jello cup (10)
Diet Pepsi ( 0)
and a laxative
Seriously Diet Pepsi is a life saver... thats kinda ironic since what I'm doing is "killing" me. But it feels so good.
My brain is fuzzy and my body is weak and I love it!
Does anyone know of any good fasts/diets to do after the ABC? I'm only on week 3 but I know once I'm done I'm gonna have to get right back into another fast or just restart the ABC or I'll gain it all back. I wanna keep it off all summer then I don't really care.
I hope your all doing well!
<3 Halley
I get so paranoid of my mother finding out about my ED!
Once she caught me while I was purging and I told her I was choking, and just now, I dizzily walked to the kitchen to get some jello. I walled passed her and I guess she was talking me and I almost walked into the wall. XD My excuse this time was I just woke up from a nap.
I love this! I love how I think about giving up and while I'm at work be like "whatever I don't care if I get fat! I'm gonna get Arby's after work!" But then I drive right by and instead pick of some 10 cal jello cups from the store.
Today I was only supposed to have 150 cals. I've had.... drum roll please. 145! What's 5 calories? Ah, screw it. Close enough. I love the meals I come up with...
Breakfast: Nature Valley Granola thin (80)
Diet Pepsi (0)
Lunch: Half a special K protein bar (55)
Large Diet coke from mcdonald's (0)
Dinner: Lemon Lime Jello cup (10)
Diet Pepsi ( 0)
and a laxative
Seriously Diet Pepsi is a life saver... thats kinda ironic since what I'm doing is "killing" me. But it feels so good.
My brain is fuzzy and my body is weak and I love it!
Does anyone know of any good fasts/diets to do after the ABC? I'm only on week 3 but I know once I'm done I'm gonna have to get right back into another fast or just restart the ABC or I'll gain it all back. I wanna keep it off all summer then I don't really care.
I hope your all doing well!
<3 Halley
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
50th Blog!
I feel as though I have reached a blogging mile stone!
It doesn't feel like I've posted 50 blogs...
But it does feel like I need to do something BIG!
What should that be?
I could post a picture of my body...
No one wants to see that trust me. Bleck!
Oh I found some new thinspo....
Theres this band I found a few years back, Alice in Videoland, but I've just recently seen their music videos.
The singer, Toril Lindqvist, is stunning!
In other news, I am a total of 0 calories today and it's almost 11 pm.
I've injested 2 cans of diet pepsi and a bottle of water.
I'm dizzy as hell and can hardly hold my hands up to type. I honestly enjoy this feeling. :)
Tomorrow is 150.
Then it's the weekend... yikes! food... ugh
Stay strong!
<3 Halley
P.S. I'm gonna post a pic of my hugeness monday after I weight myself for the week.
It doesn't feel like I've posted 50 blogs...
But it does feel like I need to do something BIG!
What should that be?
I could post a picture of my body...
No one wants to see that trust me. Bleck!
Oh I found some new thinspo....
Theres this band I found a few years back, Alice in Videoland, but I've just recently seen their music videos.
The singer, Toril Lindqvist, is stunning!
In other news, I am a total of 0 calories today and it's almost 11 pm.
I've injested 2 cans of diet pepsi and a bottle of water.
I'm dizzy as hell and can hardly hold my hands up to type. I honestly enjoy this feeling. :)
Tomorrow is 150.
Then it's the weekend... yikes! food... ugh
Stay strong!
<3 Halley
P.S. I'm gonna post a pic of my hugeness monday after I weight myself for the week.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
500
Still on the ABC diet.
I always hate the 500 calorie days...
It's too much. I always end up binging on these days! The other days are fine... No problem.
Like yesterday, 400 calories. It's like 9 at night and I still have 90 somthing more calories to go.
I could've stayed at that number but the point is to trick your metabolism by eat varied amounts of calories every day. So I ate the 2 jello cups I had in my fridge which were only 10 calories each but I figured that was close enough.
But then today came around and I thought I had reached 500 before 1 pm. I went to mcdonals for a small nonfat hot chocolate and only drank half.
I thought I'd be fine but I freaked and looked it up and it was like 280 (for a whole cup, half would be 90) calories! Some the fuck how?! Mind you I'd already had an iced mocha (180) and a special k protein bar (110) for breakfast.
So by 1 pm I actually only had 380 calories... but for some reason I felt defeated and went to the store after work and bought a deli meal.
Ate it all besides the mac n cheese cuz its nasty.
Anyway tomorrow is a fasting day. :) Which is easy for me.
Trying to keep my spirits up! No more cheating this week. I think I can reach my goal weight by the end of the 50 days.
Hope everyone else is doing good with however they're trying to loose!
Stay positive!
<3 Halley
I always hate the 500 calorie days...
It's too much. I always end up binging on these days! The other days are fine... No problem.
Like yesterday, 400 calories. It's like 9 at night and I still have 90 somthing more calories to go.
I could've stayed at that number but the point is to trick your metabolism by eat varied amounts of calories every day. So I ate the 2 jello cups I had in my fridge which were only 10 calories each but I figured that was close enough.
But then today came around and I thought I had reached 500 before 1 pm. I went to mcdonals for a small nonfat hot chocolate and only drank half.
I thought I'd be fine but I freaked and looked it up and it was like 280 (for a whole cup, half would be 90) calories! Some the fuck how?! Mind you I'd already had an iced mocha (180) and a special k protein bar (110) for breakfast.
So by 1 pm I actually only had 380 calories... but for some reason I felt defeated and went to the store after work and bought a deli meal.
Ate it all besides the mac n cheese cuz its nasty.
Anyway tomorrow is a fasting day. :) Which is easy for me.
Trying to keep my spirits up! No more cheating this week. I think I can reach my goal weight by the end of the 50 days.
Hope everyone else is doing good with however they're trying to loose!
Stay positive!
<3 Halley
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